One Year

My little monkey was born one year ago.  

Yesterday was his birthday, and it was so incredibly crazy to reflect back on what I was thinking, feeling, and experiencing.  After years of crappy infertility issues, we were blessed with this little miracle, and we had no idea how much he would change our lives.  In some ways, the year has flown.  But in so many others, it has been one hell of a year - one full of ups and downs, new memories, new experiences, lots of kisses, many emotions, several challenges, and more love than our hearts knew we could give.

We held his birthday party today with friends and family, and had a great time celebrating this little person who has filled so many people's lives with joy and love.

Happy birthday to my little Maxwell!

On the Baby #2 front, I am a bit over 16 weeks, and loving every moment of pregnancy.  I have  such a strong feeling that this baby is a boy... I feel and look the exact same way as when I was pregnant with Max.  Either way, we are truly excited.  Baby continues to grow and is starting to pop out more and more.  We have our regular monthly doctor appointment on Tuesday morning, and I am dying to hear that heartbeat.  I think I've felt baby fluttering around here and there, but until I can feel some good kicks, I just need that heartbeat reassurance.

I'll leave you with a picture of the one year old man of my life - taken a few days ago.  Hope everyone is well!

XOXO - 
Mrs. D

Sigh of Relief

An infertile (no matter where her stage... working to welcome home baby, currently TTC, pregnant, already had a baby...) always holds her breath with every stage of pregnancy.  Every step, every ultrasound, every milestone... they are all important, and we all worry.  All the time.


Today was no different.  I worried all day that my little bean would be found not breathing.  I don't know why I thought that, but I did.  My guard was up walking in, hand-in-hand with Mr. D, into the ultrasound room.


But no reason for worry... as soon as the tech put the ultrasound probe on my belly, there he/she was :)  Baby was alive, with a beating heart, and resting.  Baby moved around a little bit during our 30 minutes seeing the new love of our lives, but for the most part, he/she was in the perfect position for measurements and was just pretty chill.  Baby's hand was up by his/her eyebrow (just like Max did at his 12-week ultrasound!), and was kicking around a little bit, but for the most part, he/she was kicking back and enjoying showing off his/herself.


Baby passed all of the tests the tech could visually see and measure - of course there are more tests that I won't know results of for a couple weeks - but overall, the baby looks healthy and happy.  Heartbeat was 161bpm.


So, overall, an awesome appointment, and so incredibly wonderful to take a sigh of relief... if only until the next milestone :)


XOXO
Mrs. D

Random Updates

Lots of random updates today... not really sure, but I feel the need to thought-vomit :)  So, here goes:

• My baby boy turned 11 months, and we are busy planning for his first birthday.  So many people say things to the effect of, "Where does the time go?," "Wow, can you believe he's almost a year?," or "Time flies, doesn't it?"  For me, not so much.  I mean, sure, reflecting back on the days of having a newborn doesn't seem like yesterday... it feels like it was about a year ago.  Every stage and every day/week/month has been a complete change of lifestyle, and I can totally believe 11 months have gone by.
• Baby #2 is growing.  I remember not really "popping" with Max until about 16-18 weeks, and with this one, I am having trouble hiding my growing stomach.  We've shared with our parents and a few friends, but still haven't shared with many people.  We have our 12-week ultrasound tomorrow, which I think will make Mr. D feel even better... like this is even more real.  My boss is on vacation this week, so I will plan to tell her the week after, and share with my direct reports and team afterwards.  Time with Baby #2 is flying... I think it's a combination of my mother being ill, it being summer, Max keeping me busy, work being busy, and just life in general being busy.  We're hoping and praying that this baby continues to be healthy and happy.
• Do I want a girl or a boy?  One one hand, a girl would be great... we would have one of each, and our family would balance out, gender-wise.  On the other hand, I think it would be so cool for Max to have a brother who is 17 months younger.  I absolutely love my little boy, and would love to have another.  All signs (old wives' tales, Chinese gender calendars, etc.) point to BOY.  The only differences between my pregnancy with Max and this one are that this time I am craving sweet things - ice cream, fruit, etc. (with Max, I never really craved anything, although I ate a lot of pickles), and have had a few moments of nausea (with Max, I never once felt queasy).  Who knows :)  We will be extremely happy either way.
• Mom is still sick.  After 6 weeks, she was released from the hospital and is now in a physical rehabilitation center until further notice... likely a couple months.  She can't move her legs, sit up, or basically move anything.  It's been a really stressful, crappy time for my family - especially Mom, who is in a significant amount of pain.  Makes me pause and think about how much we all need to value every single moment.

Hope everyone is well and has a great start of the week!

XOXO

Mrs. D

Hot Summer Days

I know some of you must think I am crazy for loving this great state where I live.  Minnesota - land of 10,000 lakes.  


It's also the land of extreme seasons - we truly get the best of all four of them.  Winters are damn cold (I know this is probably what you all think of when you think of northern states), autumns are gorgeous and full of crisp air and beautiful colors, springtime is green, sometimes rainy, and fresh.  And then there are summers.  The past two weeks have been 95-110 degrees and HUMID.  So hot, in fact, that most people don't even go outside... everyone stays inside with the air conditioning.  


I know I might be nerdy to be talking about the weather, but seriously... it has been HOT.  I am not complaining whatsoever.  We deal with so much snow and ice in the winter that I will take 100 degrees any day over the cold, dreary winter days.


Okay, so on to new topics.


Thanks to everyone for their kind notes about my mother... she is still in the hospital, and not leaving for awhile.  She is one sick lady.  She will be okay eventually, but is in for more surgeries and then some intensive physical rehabilitation.  It's so sad to see a woman who was otherwise healthy and mobile be committed to a hospital bed because of an infection that anyone could get at anytime.  It's so scary and so sad.  Life is so incredibly fragile, and I am reminded of that every time I see how weak my poor mama is.  Thanks for continuing to keep her in your thoughts and prayers :)


I had an appointment with my OB today.  It was my first official prenatal appointment.  We heard the heartbeat :)  It absolutely makes my day to hear that beautiful beating heart and is the most reassuring sound in the world.  Today, he/she had a heart rate at 173bpm.  It seemed high to me, but our midwife reassured us that it's perfect and there are no concerns.  


They also changed my due date based on my last period.  I know what day I ovulated, and based on my early ultrasound, I was tracking at 9 weeks, 6 days.  However, they prefer to count from my last period and remeasure with my next ultrasound.  And, so, they changed my due date to February 1.  This means that, God-willing, if everything works out and this baby is healthy, he/she will be born at the end of January.  I am opting for a repeat C-section (more on this decision in another post for another day), and my doctor likes to deliver repeat C-sections at 38 or 39 weeks.  So, looks like we will have a January baby - that is, if we are lucky enough that this baby is healthy, can stick it out with me, and enter this world to meet his/her big brother Max :)


With the recalculation of my due date, this means I am 10 weeks, 3 days.  I need to get the NT scan and 12-week ultrasound completed by 12.5 weeks, so we will be going back in within the next couple weeks to see our little bean again.  And then we will start to share our big news IRL.  I am excited, but scared and nervous... the feelings of infertility just keep pinging away.  I doubt they will ever go away.  Damn you, IF.  But, on the other hand, thank you, IF, for showing me how very sensitive and precious life really is.  I am blessed to have my little Max and this new little life growing inside of me.


I hope everyone has been well and is enjoying the summer!


XOXO
Mrs. D

Wow, It's Been Awhile...

I have been SO absent from blogging, and I am sorry.  Long, long, long story made short... my mother was admitted to the hospital on June 11, and is still in the ICU.  It's a long, detailed story that I won't get into on my blog, but I have been at the hospital every day since.  The hospital she is at is about 75 minutes from my house, so on top of balancing Max, work, and visiting my mother, I have literally had NO TIME.  Mom will be fine... she is hopefully on her way to recovery, but it's been a crazy ride.

I am so far behind that I haven't had time to post about my ultrasound!  So, between visits at the hospital with my mother, Mr. D and I escaped for a little while to go to another hospital (where my OB's office is) for our ultrasound last Friday, 6/15.  After getting situated in the stirrups with the internal ultrasound device, we got to see our little bean :)  He or she was measuring 6 weeks, 3 days (exactly what I had estimated based on my ovulation and BD dates).  And - the best part - there was a heartbeat :)  116 bpm.  I asked if that seemed low (Max always ranged from 130-160s), but she said for someone in their 6th week, 116 bpm is pretty good.

So, it is official... there is a little bean growing inside, and I could not be more excited.  With my mother being hospitalized, time is going pretty quickly, which is sort-of nice.  My #1 focus right now is my mother (and Max, of course), so I haven't been dwelling on every single day of pregnancy like I did with Max.  Whatever is to be is to be and I believe that God will take care of us... I trust that things will work out if they are supposed to.

So, there's the report :)  Next up: 10 week appointment on July 10.


Estimated due date = February 5, 2013

I have been following along on my friends' blogs, but haven't been able to comment while in the hospital waiting room.  I will try to get to commenting this weekend!

Happy weekend to everyone :)

Mrs. D

Beautiful Weekend Days

Wow... the weather here in MN has been GORGEOUS!  It was 92 degrees today, sunny with a warm breeze.  While Max took a nap this morning, I sat out and just soaked in the warmth.  I just love summer :)

Life has been good - it was a great weekend, and we're already on to a new week.  Crazy how the weekend days fly by.  I am usually so bummed on Sundays that tomorrow will start a new work week, but this week, I am ready to get the show on the road... only 5 days until our ultrasound!  I am just praying that our little bean is safe and sound in there, with a strong heart beating away.  I have a really busy, meeting-packed week, so I am hoping the time flies.

As far as symptoms go, I haven't felt super tired like I did during my first trimester with Max.  I am definitely a bit more tired, but I remember literally being exhausted and in bed by 7 pm the first time around.  Maybe it's because I don't have that option this time... I want to be awake in the evenings as long as possible so that I can spend time with my little man.  My boobs don't hurt nearly as much as I remember the first time, either... maybe it's because my boobs don't feel anything sensitive anymore after a breast reduction 10 years ago and attempted breastfeeding for a month?  Of course, I dwell on all of this... does my lack of symptoms (or lack-there-of) mean something bad?

I know every pregnancy is different, but I am driving myself crazy.  I just want to see our new little one and am praying that he/she is healthy, alive, and growing.

I'll post once I learn more after our Friday ultrasound.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, and wherever you are, I hope the weather is as beautiful as it is here.

XOXO

Mrs. D

Beta #2

Beta #2 = 803


:)


We are on the right track!  Next up... ultrasound on Friday, 6/15.  Doctor said two weeks is perfect - hopefully we will be able to see and hear a heartbeat.  Until then, I am on the 2WW... :)


We are blessed.  Most definitely.


Happy weekend!
XOXO
Mrs. D


P.S.  KKasun... I've been trying to comment, but my screen keeps locking up on me on your site!!  No idea why... I'll figure it out.  Avery is ADORABLE!