The Eve of Our New Reality

Okay, so the title of my post sounds dramatic :)  But I couldn't think of a better title.  And honestly, today feels kind of dramatic to me.

January 29.  I am sitting here on my couch, five minutes after logging off my work computer for three months.  It is surreal.  It is quiet and serene around this house... soon to be the home of two little boys.

Tomorrow is the big day... our baby boy will be born.  This day came so incredibly fast.  I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone.  I worked from home today, and ran to Tar.get over lunch.  On the way home, I had this indescribable need to go to church (lucky, our church is right on the way to Tar.get).  I pulled into the parking lot - completely empty other than some cars near a separate office entrance - and walked in.  I knelt down into a pew and the tears immediately started. 

It was overwhelming.  All the planning, all the crazy feelings that went into our TTC journey, all the stress, all the love, all the anticipation, all the joy... everything came pouring out in rounds and rounds of tears (glad I had a couple of tissues in my jacket pocket).  I cried because this part of our journey is coming to an end... I am done TTC and being pregnant as of tomorrow.  This has been a journey that has brought us on a crazy, emotional, spiritual, amazing, rewarding, hard path, and it's about to be over.  Our family is about to be complete, and although I am so, so, so fortunate and blessed, it is an overwhelming feeling.  I gave myself time to let it all soak in as the tears continued.

I prayed to be a good mother to two boys.  I've been so excited to have another baby and complete our family that I only recently started thinking about what this is going to mean for Mr. D and me... I mean, holy crap, we are going to be parents of two children.  Are we even ready for this?  I am sure it is going to be wonderful and beautiful, stressful and hectic, and I prayed to have the strength and love to care for two.

After a few minutes, I went over to the prayer chapel, donated a dollar, and lit a candle for our little boy.  I prayed that my surgery tomorrow goes well and that our baby boy is born healthy and alive. 

I am so thankful that he is joining our family.

I am thankful to be the mother of two children.

I am thankful for everything we've gone through to get to this point.

I am about to go pick up Max from daycare and spend our last night together as a family of three.  Tomorrow around 7:30 a.m., his little brother will be born.

And our family will be complete.

Thank you for your thoughts and comments - I will post very soon with details about our newest little guy!

XOXO
Mrs. D