The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

One Month Later

Hello!  It's been over a month since I posted... wow.  I have been checking in on all of your blogs on my phone, but it's nearly impossible for me to comment and post to my own blog.  I've also found myself in a blogging rut... what's important to write about?  What's relevant?  What does my blog stand for?  I am definitely at what feels like a weird point and I am trying to figure out what my vision for this blog is.  It's certainly changed over time, so please bear with me as I try to figure it out :)

Life is good - we are 29 weeks pregnant and getting more excited by the day to welcome this little man to our family.  This pregnancy is SO DIFFERENT than my pregnancy with Max.  The first time around, I counted every single day until my due date.  I was scared shitless that I would miscarry again until I heard him screaming as he was pulled out of me.  I had every single detail of pregnancy, labor, and caring for a newborn planned out.  I spent so much time taking care of myself and resting.  This time?  Time has absolutely FLOWN and I can't even believe we will have another baby in 10 weeks.  I am SO less stressed - I know that everything is completely out of my hands and all I can do is pray for a healthy baby.  I drink decaf coffee this time around.  I am never able to rest... Mr. D is really helping me to find time to do so, but it's not really possible with a 15-month busy toddler and a full-time job.  It's just a different experience to be a pregnant MOM instead of a pregnant WOMAN.  I am really challenging myself to love every second of the next 10 weeks, as I absolutely love being pregnant and will miss it very much once Baby #2 - very likely our last child - is born.

I've learned of 3 friends/co-workers in the past couple of months who are struggling in different ways with infertility.  My long-time personal challenge with IF has been being open, confident, and talking about it.  My heart absolutely breaks for these wonderful women.  The feelings of IF and dealing with the emotions just never go away, and it is just so unfair that others have to experience the pain of it all.  I am trying to figure out my place in the "parenting after IF" world, as I still feel very connected to the struggles.

That's all for today... once Max wakes up from his nap, we are headed outside to enjoy the amazing 50 degree weather!  Not always common for mid-November in Minnesota, so I'll take it :)

Happy weekend!
- Mrs. D