The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Progress on Goals

I'll preface this post with: I am kind of a by-the-book kind of girl. I am over the top with being accountable for what I sign up for, which is why I think I do a pretty good job at work. I deliver results.

Same with my personal life. I organize, document, and plan everything. It's just how I like to keep our lives managed. Remember my Start, Stop, Continue list? Oh, yes, my friends... it's time for my quarterly check in.

- Calling my parents and sister more frequently: In progress. My parents are married, and my sister is 6 years younger than me. I am close with my Dad. Mom and sister? Well, let's just say they are pretty much identical, and are pretty much the opposite of me. I am really trying to connect with them more. Being pregnant has naturally brought us all closer.
- Being more open to sharing our IF struggles with people I know in real life: In progress. I don't think I'll ever be one to shout "I AM A FELLOW IF'er... WHERE MY GIRLS AT?" from the rooftops, but I have made progress in telling people in many different ways that our pregnancy is a miracle and we've waited a long time for this. I share with those who I trust and who would want to know.
- Joining the 21st century by adopting technology with a data phone, Facebook, etc.: iPhone? Check. Facebook? Twitter? Uh.... still have some work here to do :)

- Worrying about miscarrying our baby and truly trust that God will take care of us: Done. I truly trust that this pregnancy is out of my hands and God has the ultimate plan for us completely figured out. I believe this with regards to our baby boy, our life, our next step with closing on our house in 2 weeks, etc. It feels good to completely trust.
- Living only for the future, and live life today for what it was meant to be: Still working on this. I think I've made progress in my personal life, but work still continues to be a challenge. It's always busy, always keeping me on my toes, and always making me think of what's next. I need to remember to slow down and enjoy the day for what it is.
- Trying to be a perfectionist at work and realize I am doing a great job: While I am working on this, my bosses have certainly appreciated my attention and dedication to work, resulting in a significant promotion last month and important work to focus on. I guess there's two sides of the coin here.

- Working with Financial Planner, saving money, and using our money markets to support our dreams: Done. So excited to make our next move in a couple of weeks by purchasing our dream home, months earlier than we thought we would be able to afford it. If anyone doesn't have a financial planner (or at least, a super-strict sense of saving money), I highly recommend it... it's the only thing that got us organized a few years ago and helped us execute our priorities.
- Engaging in my professional work and aspiring for the next level: Done!
- Engaging in our Catholic faith and loving going to Mass and praying: Done, done, and done. But still have so much room to grow in our faith. We are at church at least weekly, if not more, praying and thanking God for the miracles we've been given. We are truly blessed. :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

20 Weeks!

Wow, I can't believe we are here. The 20-week mark is a pretty significant milestone, and here we are! It's amazing. Time has gone awfully slow at times, and at others, flown by. We have many, many, many more milestones to achieve in order to bring our little guy home safe and sound, but we are pretty stoked to have arrived at 20 weeks.

It's all a countdown... not counting up anymore... from here :) We are so blessed and thank God every day.

Best Moment of the Week: Pushing around on my tummy and feeling him kick back. I can't always get him to move, but usually about an hour after I eat, he's most active. Mr. D felt a very soft tap (which felt like a big tap to me) on the outside of my tummy... can't wait for us both to feel stronger kicks! It's such a neat bonding experience.

Entertaining Question/Comment of the Week: Nothing really I can think of this week...

Obsessions: Still thinking about the bedding for his nursery. I think I found what I wanted, but still planning to look a bit more. We bought the nursery furniture on Friday, and it arrives within 2 weeks. We close on our new house on April 15, so planning to pick it up on April 16. Once we have the furniture, I think I will be inspired to make a solid decision on bedding.

What I am Most Looking Forward to This Week: Growing more! I definitely look pregnant (I think so, anyway), and have "popped," but would love to rock a bigger tummy :)

What I Miss the Most: Tunafish. For some reason, a tuna sandwich sounds AMAZING. Oh, well.

Symptoms: Stuffy nose, big boobs, and veins appearing on my stomach. It's creepy.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Welcome, ICLW!

I am behind! I've been so busy that I missed the first few days of ICLW this month. I have some blog catching-up to do tonight.

For those of you who have followed my story along the ups and downs, THANK YOU! I love that you are my girlfriends :)

For those of you who are new to stopping by (and those who have already commented from this round of ICLW), WELCOME! So excited you're here. Check out our story (long version on the right-hand side of my blog), read my posts, and comment... I always write comments back to those who are kind enough to leave me some words :)

Here's our quick, down-and-dirty infertility story:

Been married to Mr. D for over 4.5 years. Tried to conceive for 2 years and were diagnosed with unexplained infertility (and later to find out, a blocked tube was probably also to blame).

Tried everything except IUI and IVF, which were our next planned steps. There were surgeries, tests (blood, urine, semen, cervical, you name it), rounds and rounds of Progesterone, Prometrium, and Clomid. There were ovulation tests, HPTs, and many, many charts. There were OB appointments, RE appointments, specialist appointments, and surgeon appointments. There were many dollars spent, and many tears shed. On our final attempt of TTC before IUI, we found out we are pregnant by the grace and pure miraculous work of God. We are over 19 weeks, expecting a boy, and completely in awe every day with the miracle we've created.

Please continue to follow our adventures... I love the world of blogging, as I have met so many incredibly warm-hearted, wonderful women (and men!) who have become my support system and network.

Hope you'll join us on The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

19 Weeks!

I missed my weekly update yesterday, so catching up for being one day behind :)

The weather here in MN is FINALLY feeling more and more like spring... most of our snow has melted, and many people (including Mr. D) are now walking around without a coat. Welcome, spring! I've been waiting for you :)

Here's my update at 19 weeks:

Best Moment of the Week: Finding out that we are having a BOY! Best experience ever, especially being a fellow IFer. I know so many people have different opinions about finding out vs. waiting for the surprise at birth, and I respect both sides of the argument. For us, finding out was AMAZING. Not only can we now plan, prepare, and refer to our baby as a "he," but we can now focus the whole birth process (which is bound to be full of surprises in and of itself) on welcoming him to our family.

Entertaining Question/Comment of the Week: "Are you absolutely SURE that's a penis?" You can imagine where, when, and how many times that question was asked.

Obsessions: Starting to think about the bedding for the nursery - I haven't found exactly what I like yet, so I am getting obsessed with finding a set we love.

What I am Most Looking Forward to This Week: Totally non-pregnancy related... Mr. D's bonus. He has a pretty awesome bonus potential with his company, and we are dying to know what his take-home will be. He should find out what his check amount will be this week, and given that his company did really well this year, we are expecting a pretty large check. Keeping fingers crossed.

What I Miss the Most: Still missing old clothes... I am off to a maternity consignment shop today to purchase a few more basics. I only have a few things that fit, and I am sick of wearing my maternity black T-shirt, which I have now worn 4 days in a row.

Symptoms: Stuffy nose, big boobs (with tons of blue veins at the surface).

Friday, March 18, 2011

It's a...


Definitely, no question... a boy :) As we began the ultrasound, the tech said, "Do you want to see if we can determine the sex today?" Of course, we said yes, and she added, "I will look, and then let you know towards the end of the scan what I determine."

But - it was too obvious to wait until the end. She measured everything... heart, brain, bladder, kidneys, limbs, and more. Then she got closer to his little butt and said, "Oh, yes - do you see that?" as she pointed on the screen. Before she could even say it, we knew! It was a boy. The scan lasted a good 45 minutes, and she revisited his private area 3 times to confirm, and each time, she said, "There it is... still a boy!" We have a couple of very obvious pictures of his private area as proof :)

We are having a son. We are shocked - I think Mr. D really thought it was a girl, and I think subconsciously, he convinced me the same. So, when we saw our little man's penis time and time again on the screen, each time we looked at each other in disbelief. We are both so, so, so excited - not only because we will be welcoming a little boy, but because all of his measurements were right on. Heartbeat was at 139 bpm, and he weighs 9 oz. I am measuring right on at 18 weeks, 6 days.

What a cool experience. I will never forget this day... I still can't believe we are pregnant, let alone know that our baby is a boy. I am on cloud nine.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

One More Day to Wait...

I really can't believe tomorrow is March 18... the day of our Level 2 Ultrasound. I scheduled this appointment back in the beginning of January, when my Doctor's office wanted to get all appointments set up through the second trimester. I didn't think I would make it to this point - I didn't even book time off at work or add it to calendars until recently. I expected the worst and never thought we'd see this day.

But, tomorrow it is! We are praying that our kid is healthy and all measurements check out okay. And... we are praying and hoping that our baby's legs are in a great position for the big reveal... boy or girl. I can not wait. :)

Vote on our poll at the top of my blog... what do you think? Boy? Girl?

I'll post tomorrow with results. :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

18 Weeks!

Ahhh, Saturday :) Who doesn't love a weekend? Mr. D and I had a wedding to attend last night, we attending a 5-year-old's birthday party, and running some errands today. All in all, a relaxing, kick-back sort of weekend. The only updates from the week are within my recap, so without further ado...

Best Moment of the Week: I have a few this week. Entering the 5th month of pregnancy, hearing the heartbeat at our OB appointment on Wednesday, and feeling the baby move. The feelings ares just like how I've heard it described... light little touches, almost flutters. It's amazing. I have felt things stretching all week around in my uterus/stomach area, and started to figure out what some of the feelings were when I left some light movements. Amazing.

Entertaining Question/Comment of the Week: Mr. D: "Wow, you are so pregnant now." My belly has definitely expanded in the past 1-2 weeks.

Obsessions: Is our baby a boy or a girl?! We would be happy with either, but we both can't wait to find out on Friday. Mr. D and I both think girl. But we would love a boy. Or a girl. I just want to know! I am counting the days to the Level 2 Ultrasound. Take our poll at the top of my blog to let us know what your guess is! i am also kind of obsessed with weight gain. Pre-pregnancy, at 5'7", I was of average weight, and have only gained a total of 3 pounds so far. Doctor is not concerned and says it actually sets me up well to gain later in my pregnancy, where as a lot of women who gain up front in the first trimester end up having to watch the gain later on.

What I am Most Looking Forward to This Week: Finding out the gender!

What I Miss the Most: This week, I kind of miss my old clothes. I work a corporate job, and I wear full suits almost every day... or at the very least, dress pants with a trendy/formal blazer. I have so many cute suits and it has been challenging to figure out how to make it work with maternity pants and regular tops. Secret: I wore the same black blazer to work two times this week... I know nobody noticed, but it drove me nuts. I just don't have enough clothing pieces to make up for my suit collection! That will need to change soon.

Symptoms: Still feeling amazing... better than not being pregnant. I think it must be all of the hormones and extra vitamins I am taking, in addition to my increased blood circulation. However, my nose has been incredibly stuffy, and I am not sick. I guess this is referred to as pregnancy nose (all of my books refer to it around this time), and I can not get my nose to clear up.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Doctor Appointment & "Well, it took us a long time to get here..."

Today was our OB appointment, and everything is looking great! I am definitely growing, and my Doctor could tell. We went through all the basics... weight, blood pressure, questions... and then got to hear the heartbeat! It was in the 140s today, and Mr. D and I just can not wait to find out the gender. I feel like that will help us bond even more with our little one. Next Friday is the big day! Here's hoping that our kid's legs are wide open and ready to show us his/her privates. :)

So, aside from our wonderful appointment, there's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. It happened twice again today, so thought I would write it down in an attempt to get my thoughts out.

Many people who have found out we are expecting (or whom we've told in person) have made an innocent comment along the lines of, "Wow, I was wondering when you guys would get around to having kids!" Now, Mr. D and I have been married almost 5 years, and been together about 7. I can see where people would think, "Geez, you guys sure waited awhile." Their comments are met with complete defense by me. I have often been alone when someone says something like this to me, but other times, they've said it in the presence of Mr. D. He has totally picked up on the fact that it not only makes me super uncomfortable, but he knows what to expect as far as my reaction.

I can never sit back and not confront that comment. Usually, my response is somewhere along the lines of, "Well, actually, it took us a long time to get here" or "It really wasn't easy for us to get pregnant, so I wouldn't say we were just waiting around." Most people? Well, they don't catch on, and the conversation progresses. But at least I feel like I inserted my piece, almost in defense of "waiting such a long time for no reason." For those who actually catch on to what the underlying tone is of what I am saying, I can tell they get it when they pause or raise their eyebrows. I'm not embarrassed. I will just never allow others to think that this was easy for us, or is easy for everyone.

I feel defensive because, no, the waiting-and-trying-and-crying-for-two-years part wasn't planned. And people need to know that there is a process that goes along with TTC. For us, it sucked. It was horrible, and I never, ever want people to think that we just decided to wait all these years and then made a split decision to have a baby and - BOOM - I'm pregnant. It was a journey, and I know things happen for a reason. I am so incredibly thankful, and I love, love, love that everything worked the way it did.

But, it took us a long time to get here.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

17 Weeks!

Wow, what a week. I've been super busy at work, which I love, but I'm exhausted at night. Each week, I start looking forward to the next weekend by Tuesday afternoon at the latest.

Other than work this week, let's see, what else is new? We brought my doggie into the vet today for his annual check-up. I always stock up on heartworm medicine and tick-preventing Frontline oil for the entire year (in hopes that we won't need to go back for anything serious prior to next year's appointment). On top of a couple of shots, his physical check-up, and a few other random charges, our bill was well over $300. Seriously, who knew dogs were this expensive to maintain from a health perspective? I am just lucky that mine is healthy, and for the most part, hasn't required other services.

We stopped at Babies 'R Us, and I think we've decided on the crib and dresser set we want. Yay! As soon as we close on the house - April 15 - it will go on order so that we can have it delivered to our new place. Exciting!

Here's my week run-down:

Best Moment of the Week: Wearing maternity jeans and really looking like I should be wearing them. I've been doing the rubber-binder trick for a few weeks, because it always cracks me up when women who are 6 or 8 or 12 weeks pregnant think that they need pregnancy clothes. Really... not needed. This week, I gave up on stretching my regular jeans with a rubber binder and threw on the new jeans with expandable waist. Wow, did they feel good. And, dang, are they needed.

Entertaining Question/Comment of the Week: Nothing memorable...

Obsessions: Wondering when I will first feel the baby. I definitely have a baby bump now, so wondering when I'll feel those first flutters. And, dying to know boy/girl. Only 2 more weeks until our ultrasound!

What I am Most Looking Forward to This Week: OB Appointment on Wednesday... I need a heartbeat fix!

What I Miss the Most: Wine. BUT... this week, I bought some Meier's Sparkling Grape Juice and put it in a wine glass. Although it's definitely not the same, it's kind of fun and sparkly tasting. It'll do :)

Symptoms: Tummy is slowly but surely growing...

:) Happy weekend, everyone!
Mrs. D