The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Sigh of Relief

An infertile (no matter where her stage... working to welcome home baby, currently TTC, pregnant, already had a baby...) always holds her breath with every stage of pregnancy.  Every step, every ultrasound, every milestone... they are all important, and we all worry.  All the time.

Today was no different.  I worried all day that my little bean would be found not breathing.  I don't know why I thought that, but I did.  My guard was up walking in, hand-in-hand with Mr. D, into the ultrasound room.

But no reason for worry... as soon as the tech put the ultrasound probe on my belly, there he/she was :)  Baby was alive, with a beating heart, and resting.  Baby moved around a little bit during our 30 minutes seeing the new love of our lives, but for the most part, he/she was in the perfect position for measurements and was just pretty chill.  Baby's hand was up by his/her eyebrow (just like Max did at his 12-week ultrasound!), and was kicking around a little bit, but for the most part, he/she was kicking back and enjoying showing off his/herself.

Baby passed all of the tests the tech could visually see and measure - of course there are more tests that I won't know results of for a couple weeks - but overall, the baby looks healthy and happy.  Heartbeat was 161bpm.

So, overall, an awesome appointment, and so incredibly wonderful to take a sigh of relief... if only until the next milestone :)

Mrs. D

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Random Updates

Lots of random updates today... not really sure, but I feel the need to thought-vomit :)  So, here goes:

  • My baby boy turned 11 months, and we are busy planning for his first birthday.  So many people say things to the effect of, "Where does the time go?," "Wow, can you believe he's almost a year?," or "Time flies, doesn't it?"  For me, not so much.  I mean, sure, reflecting back on the days of having a newborn doesn't seem like yesterday... it feels like it was about a year ago.  Every stage and every day/week/month has been a complete change of lifestyle, and I can totally believe 11 months have gone by.
  • Baby #2 is growing.  I remember not really "popping" with Max until about 16-18 weeks, and with this one, I am having trouble hiding my growing stomach.  We've shared with our parents and a few friends, but still haven't shared with many people.  We have our 12-week ultrasound tomorrow, which I think will make Mr. D feel even better... like this is even more real.  My boss is on vacation this week, so I will plan to tell her the week after, and share with my direct reports and team afterwards.  Time with Baby #2 is flying... I think it's a combination of my mother being ill, it being summer, Max keeping me busy, work being busy, and just life in general being busy.  We're hoping and praying that this baby continues to be healthy and happy.
  • Do I want a girl or a boy?  One one hand, a girl would be great... we would have one of each, and our family would balance out, gender-wise.  On the other hand, I think it would be so cool for Max to have a brother who is 17 months younger.  I absolutely love my little boy, and would love to have another.  All signs (old wives' tales, Chinese gender calendars, etc.) point to BOY.  The only differences between my pregnancy with Max and this one are that this time I am craving sweet things - ice cream, fruit, etc. (with Max, I never really craved anything, although I ate a lot of pickles), and have had a few moments of nausea (with Max, I never once felt queasy).  Who knows :)  We will be extremely happy either way.
  • Mom is still sick.  After 6 weeks, she was released from the hospital and is now in a physical rehabilitation center until further notice... likely a couple months.  She can't move her legs, sit up, or basically move anything.  It's been a really stressful, crappy time for my family - especially Mom, who is in a significant amount of pain.  Makes me pause and think about how much we all need to value every single moment.
Hope everyone is well and has a great start of the week!

Mrs. D

Monday, July 9, 2012

Hot Summer Days

I know some of you must think I am crazy for loving this great state where I live.  Minnesota - land of 10,000 lakes.  

It's also the land of extreme seasons - we truly get the best of all four of them.  Winters are damn cold (I know this is probably what you all think of when you think of northern states), autumns are gorgeous and full of crisp air and beautiful colors, springtime is green, sometimes rainy, and fresh.  And then there are summers.  The past two weeks have been 95-110 degrees and HUMID.  So hot, in fact, that most people don't even go outside... everyone stays inside with the air conditioning.  

I know I might be nerdy to be talking about the weather, but seriously... it has been HOT.  I am not complaining whatsoever.  We deal with so much snow and ice in the winter that I will take 100 degrees any day over the cold, dreary winter days.

Okay, so on to new topics.

Thanks to everyone for their kind notes about my mother... she is still in the hospital, and not leaving for awhile.  She is one sick lady.  She will be okay eventually, but is in for more surgeries and then some intensive physical rehabilitation.  It's so sad to see a woman who was otherwise healthy and mobile be committed to a hospital bed because of an infection that anyone could get at anytime.  It's so scary and so sad.  Life is so incredibly fragile, and I am reminded of that every time I see how weak my poor mama is.  Thanks for continuing to keep her in your thoughts and prayers :)

I had an appointment with my OB today.  It was my first official prenatal appointment.  We heard the heartbeat :)  It absolutely makes my day to hear that beautiful beating heart and is the most reassuring sound in the world.  Today, he/she had a heart rate at 173bpm.  It seemed high to me, but our midwife reassured us that it's perfect and there are no concerns.  

They also changed my due date based on my last period.  I know what day I ovulated, and based on my early ultrasound, I was tracking at 9 weeks, 6 days.  However, they prefer to count from my last period and remeasure with my next ultrasound.  And, so, they changed my due date to February 1.  This means that, God-willing, if everything works out and this baby is healthy, he/she will be born at the end of January.  I am opting for a repeat C-section (more on this decision in another post for another day), and my doctor likes to deliver repeat C-sections at 38 or 39 weeks.  So, looks like we will have a January baby - that is, if we are lucky enough that this baby is healthy, can stick it out with me, and enter this world to meet his/her big brother Max :)

With the recalculation of my due date, this means I am 10 weeks, 3 days.  I need to get the NT scan and 12-week ultrasound completed by 12.5 weeks, so we will be going back in within the next couple weeks to see our little bean again.  And then we will start to share our big news IRL.  I am excited, but scared and nervous... the feelings of infertility just keep pinging away.  I doubt they will ever go away.  Damn you, IF.  But, on the other hand, thank you, IF, for showing me how very sensitive and precious life really is.  I am blessed to have my little Max and this new little life growing inside of me.

I hope everyone has been well and is enjoying the summer!

Mrs. D