The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Our Newest Little Man

Mr. D, Max, and I are thrilled to announce the arrival of our new family member:

Mason William

Mason came screaming into this world on Wednesday, January 30.  He weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces, and immediately stole what was left of my heart.  Just like with Max, when I heard Mason scream for the first time as he was being pulled out of me, I bursted into tears.  I cried out of sheer disbelief that he is alive and I am his mother, until he was brought over to my side - at which time we both stopped crying, locked eyes, and stared at each other.

Mason looks exactly like Max did when he was born (in comparing baby pictures, I literally don't know the difference between my own two sons).  He is healthy and the perfect person that was meant to complete our family.  We have been given a gift, and for that, we are so incredibly grateful.

My repeat C-section was the BEST decision I made... our birth was the most beautiful, calm, peaceful, quick experience.  I laid down on the surgical table at 7:49 a.m., Mason was born at 8:07, and I was back in my postpartum room at 8:47.  Mason was nursing at 8:56, and from there... well, everything has been incredibly calm and surreal.

We are still in the hospital - I will post a birth story once we are home and settled.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your love and support - you gals mean the world to me!

Welcome to this world, my baby Mason.  You are the perfect little boy to complete our family.

Mrs. D

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Eve of Our New Reality

Okay, so the title of my post sounds dramatic :)  But I couldn't think of a better title.  And honestly, today feels kind of dramatic to me.

January 29.  I am sitting here on my couch, five minutes after logging off my work computer for three months.  It is surreal.  It is quiet and serene around this house... soon to be the home of two little boys.

Tomorrow is the big day... our baby boy will be born.  This day came so incredibly fast.  I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone.  I worked from home today, and ran to Tar.get over lunch.  On the way home, I had this indescribable need to go to church (lucky, our church is right on the way to Tar.get).  I pulled into the parking lot - completely empty other than some cars near a separate office entrance - and walked in.  I knelt down into a pew and the tears immediately started. 

It was overwhelming.  All the planning, all the crazy feelings that went into our TTC journey, all the stress, all the love, all the anticipation, all the joy... everything came pouring out in rounds and rounds of tears (glad I had a couple of tissues in my jacket pocket).  I cried because this part of our journey is coming to an end... I am done TTC and being pregnant as of tomorrow.  This has been a journey that has brought us on a crazy, emotional, spiritual, amazing, rewarding, hard path, and it's about to be over.  Our family is about to be complete, and although I am so, so, so fortunate and blessed, it is an overwhelming feeling.  I gave myself time to let it all soak in as the tears continued.

I prayed to be a good mother to two boys.  I've been so excited to have another baby and complete our family that I only recently started thinking about what this is going to mean for Mr. D and me... I mean, holy crap, we are going to be parents of two children.  Are we even ready for this?  I am sure it is going to be wonderful and beautiful, stressful and hectic, and I prayed to have the strength and love to care for two.

After a few minutes, I went over to the prayer chapel, donated a dollar, and lit a candle for our little boy.  I prayed that my surgery tomorrow goes well and that our baby boy is born healthy and alive. 

I am so thankful that he is joining our family.

I am thankful to be the mother of two children.

I am thankful for everything we've gone through to get to this point.

I am about to go pick up Max from daycare and spend our last night together as a family of three.  Tomorrow around 7:30 a.m., his little brother will be born.

And our family will be complete.

Thank you for your thoughts and comments - I will post very soon with details about our newest little guy!

Mrs. D

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Purging the Past

Mr. D and I are finishing up a few house-related projects.  If you've ever decided to do some home improvements by yourself, you know that they usually turn out to be more expensive, more time-intensive, and more tedious than originally anticipated.  One of our recent projects includes finishing a backroom in our basement that will be turned into a craft room/office.  It's almost complete - thank goodness - but we have some organization left that will make us both feel like this was a worthwhile project.

As we've been cleaning out this room and organizing, one chore that we've both been ignoring is cleaning out "the desk."  We have this old, ugly, cheap desk from Depot that we purchased 7 years ago that has stood the test of time.  The desk has moved with us to 3 different homes, and currently is a "catch all" for bills, pens, papers, taxes... you name it.  Mr. D and I are ready to pitch it and move necessary items to our new backroom, but we needed to sort through old files and papers to make sure we were purging what we could and saving what needed to be retained.

About 20 minutes into our organizing, I came across a HUGE file full of medical paperwork.  Receipts, documents, pictures, cost estimations, cycle plans... all from our RE.  I sat down and went through every piece of paper.  Some of it I had completely forgot about, and some of it reminded me of a place I remember being so sad, in the depths of a crap battle against IF.  I knew I had saved some of this stuff, but going back through it felt so surreal.  I can't believe that just 2 years ago, we were still freshly pregnant, hadn't told anyone except our families, and were clinging on to that paperwork for dear life.  It told a story.  It documented everything we had gone through, paid for, thought about, contemplated, and envisioned as we yearned to start our family.  It would also be what we turned back to if things didn't work as planned and we needed to start fresh again.

I couldn't throw it away.  Mr. D challenged me appropriately, asking, "Why would we need this - didn't we agree that we are done after this baby is born?"  The answer is still yes... this baby will complete our family, and I hope I never need those papers again.

But something inside of me just couldn't let go.  So, I purged what I could (random doctor appointment reminders, copies of prescriptions, etc... things I definitely didn't need and really didn't care about), but I held on to a lot of it.  There's something so intense about the journey to conceive that will never leave my soul... it was part of our lives, it was one hell of a road to get where we wanted to be, and I never, ever want to forget the steps we went through to become parents.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Full Term

Holy crap... how can I be 37 WEEKS pregnant already?!  Time has FLOWN by - way too incredibly fast.  I truly can not believe it.  I have been reflecting a lot on why I feel that time absolutely got away from me throughout this pregnancy, and here's the main reasons I can come up with: my mother's hospitalization and illness taking up 95% of my time during my first trimester, work being really busy, the fact that Mr. D and I had the main staples taken care of within the first 20 weeks or so (nursery done, bottles and baby items purchased, etc.), and... running after a 16-month old toddler every day.  Without even realizing it, my belly grew, the weeks progressed, and now here I am... days away from welcoming the newest little member to our family.

I am still feeling really good, although definitely starting to slow down.  It's hard to chase Max around, bend down multiple times a day, and find time to rest!  I never thought about the second pregnancy being different than the first, but boy was I not prepared... it's not easy to be a pregnant mother to a toddler.

Our C-section is still scheduled for January 30, and we are just PRAYING that our plans work out and baby stays put until then.  It's challenging to plan out what will be happening with Max while we are in the hospital - I have it almost all figured out... that is, if we truly go into the hospital to deliver on the 30th.  If he comes early, it is going to be crazy to figure out a Plan B quickly.  Luckily, both of our families are within 15 miles of us, so I know things would be fine, but, man, life would be so much easier if Baby Boy comes when planned!

I have confirmed by plans for a job-share when I return to work in May, which feels incredible.  I will work either M, T, W or W, Th, F - my job-share partner will work the other schedule and we will share the responsibility of one job.  I can not tell you how thrilled I am that my company approved this for me, my husband is supporting my decision, and I am able to move into this type of work/life situation.  Before having Max, one of my biggest concerns was going on maternity leave and returning to a full-time career.  Although I've made it work for over a year, and could absolutely continue to do so, I am so much more relaxed heading in to this maternity leave... I won't go back full-time.  I'll still get to work and enjoy my career and co-workers, but I'll have more time at home and most of all, more time with my sons.  So happy :)

Each day that passes means we are closer and closer to meeting this new little love of our lives, and for that, we feel so blessed.  We still have some major milestones to hit before taking home this little man, and we are praying that everything goes well and we are holding our new, healthy, little monkey in our arms very soon.