The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Doctor Appointment & "Well, it took us a long time to get here..."

Today was our OB appointment, and everything is looking great! I am definitely growing, and my Doctor could tell. We went through all the basics... weight, blood pressure, questions... and then got to hear the heartbeat! It was in the 140s today, and Mr. D and I just can not wait to find out the gender. I feel like that will help us bond even more with our little one. Next Friday is the big day! Here's hoping that our kid's legs are wide open and ready to show us his/her privates. :)

So, aside from our wonderful appointment, there's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. It happened twice again today, so thought I would write it down in an attempt to get my thoughts out.

Many people who have found out we are expecting (or whom we've told in person) have made an innocent comment along the lines of, "Wow, I was wondering when you guys would get around to having kids!" Now, Mr. D and I have been married almost 5 years, and been together about 7. I can see where people would think, "Geez, you guys sure waited awhile." Their comments are met with complete defense by me. I have often been alone when someone says something like this to me, but other times, they've said it in the presence of Mr. D. He has totally picked up on the fact that it not only makes me super uncomfortable, but he knows what to expect as far as my reaction.

I can never sit back and not confront that comment. Usually, my response is somewhere along the lines of, "Well, actually, it took us a long time to get here" or "It really wasn't easy for us to get pregnant, so I wouldn't say we were just waiting around." Most people? Well, they don't catch on, and the conversation progresses. But at least I feel like I inserted my piece, almost in defense of "waiting such a long time for no reason." For those who actually catch on to what the underlying tone is of what I am saying, I can tell they get it when they pause or raise their eyebrows. I'm not embarrassed. I will just never allow others to think that this was easy for us, or is easy for everyone.

I feel defensive because, no, the waiting-and-trying-and-crying-for-two-years part wasn't planned. And people need to know that there is a process that goes along with TTC. For us, it sucked. It was horrible, and I never, ever want people to think that we just decided to wait all these years and then made a split decision to have a baby and - BOOM - I'm pregnant. It was a journey, and I know things happen for a reason. I am so incredibly thankful, and I love, love, love that everything worked the way it did.

But, it took us a long time to get here.

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand why you are defensive. That comment is just as rude as saying when are you having kids?
    I am glad you say something and I believe that I will do the same if the same comment is given to us.
    Being an IF and being pregnant I kind of feel a responsibility to let people know this wasn't a super easy road. And it is so much easier to talk about now that I am pregnant.
    Good luck and keep on educating people, or at least getting your piece in!