The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

To Freeze or Not to Freeze... That is the Question

Last night, a friend and co-worker of mine came over to meet Max. Her name is Katie, and I've known her for about 4 years. Katie is very independent, very smart, motivated, nice-looking... very type-A personality. She is 35 years old, has a great career and makes well over $100K, never been married, and wants nothing more than to have a wonderful relationship that turns into a marriage. She is very active in the dating scene and keeps wondering when she will meet Mr. Right.

During my 4 years of knowing Katie, she has made it pretty clear that she doesn't want kids. Just not her thing... she is career-focused, likes having freedom, not sure she wants to be a mother, etc. She's been dating guys on-and-off for as long as I've known her using online sites, and she's kept her profile to show that she's not interested in having kids.

So, last night, she tells Mr. D and me that she is considering going to a fertility clinic to have her eggs collected and stored. When I asked her about the change of heart (because, I mean, come on... going from not wanting kids at ALL to now working with a fertility clinic?!), she said that she wants to do this to at least have the option to have kids if she meets the right guy, gets married, and they decide they want children. Plus, she mentioned that 35-year old eggs are "younger" and "better" than if she were to try to achieve pregnancy on her own later in life.

I was in complete shock. Not only is this coming from the friend who only dates guys who know that kids are not in her future, but she nonchalantly mentioned that the fee is $5K to retrieve the eggs and $60/month to store them (and then another $5K or so to put them back)... not a big hit on her pocketbook, I guess. So then I asked what she would do with the eggs if she determined she didn't have a need to use them, and she mentioned donating them.

So, here's my question... and I apologize if it offends anyone reading my blog. Why would you freeze eggs if you're not 10000% sure (yes, I know I typed 10000 instead of 100) that you want kids? I think donating them is fantastic if you aren't going to use them, but I would assume that the purpose of freezing them in the first place is for your own use?

And here's my even bigger question: would you freeze eggs just in case you met the right guy who definitely wants kids? Even if you never really wanted kids?

I know it's really none of my business what Katie does and I will support her in anything she decides, but this just caught me off-guard. Maybe it's because I knew that I wanted kids more than anything, and investigated all of the avenues to do so. She seems to be taking it the opposite way and investigating all avenues and then making the decision of if she wants kids.

I guess there's multiple ways to look at people's fertility journeys.

No comments:

Post a Comment