But I love it. Of course, there is more to me than work... I have a wonderful family, an amazing husband, great friends, faith-based beliefs, etc., etc., etc. But I love work. I love my company, I love my co-workers (many, many of which are my friends), and I love (for the most part) corporate culture. I love the pressure, I love the stress (sometimes), and I love when people look to me for answers or insight.
When Mr. D and I started down our long journey to conceive, I knew my focus on work would change, which was totally fine with me. Of course, our journey took a LOT longer than expected, so by the time our little man joined us, I had been busting my booty and progressing my career for over a decade. When I went back to work after maternity leave, I didn't feel as torn as I thought I would, based on what I had heard from other mothers. I kept hearing horror stories about how hard it would be to go back to work, and the whole time I would be at work, all I would be thinking about is my kid.
Is it hard to keep the same pace at work as before? Oh, hell yeah. It's really hard. But somehow, my type-A personality tells my skeptical side, "Come on... you know how to rock it at work... make it happen." And so I do. But, damn, am I tired. Somehow I am managing to keep the same pace at work, and be a full-time mother. I DO think about my child when I am at work... a lot. I wish I was with him, but not all the time. He needs interaction with his friends at daycare. He has learned so much from other kids and from his daycare provider... I would never want to deprive him of that experience.
So - I've been weighing my options. I would never want to give up my work and career. I obviously love my child (soon to be children) more than anything and want to spend more time with them.
So - I struck a deal with myself... and with my company. I created a job-share proposal, which basically allows me to work three days per week at 60% pay, with my job only demanding 60% of the usual 100% I deliver today. The pay cut will be a big deal - Mr. D and I both do just fine, but to cut such a significant chunk will have an impact. But I've been saving and preparing for this... and the cut will be just fine. It will allow me two weekdays home with my kids, which I think is the perfect amount of time. They will still get the benefit of going to daycare three days of the week while I am at work, and the other two days will be dedicated to them... hopefully filled with play dates, activities, and things for us to do together. It will also give me time to do the run-of-the-mill things... laundry, Target shopping, house cleaning... all of the things that are now being crammed in to our already-packed weekends.
My proposal was approved, and I have a couple additional factors to figure out before it all begins. Not sure if that will be before 2012 is over, or if we will wait until after my maternity leave... I am the one who is determining timing for the most part. Either way, I am flexible and happy that I am being afforded this opportunity.
I am considering this to be the best of both worlds for me: allowing me to drive my career in a different way now that I am also a mother, and allowing me time to be with my children more than what I can do now.
I think this is going to be an amazing transition.