Jealousy

I wonder if people who struggle with IF have more of an affinity towards being pregnant. I dealt with my fair share of struggles to get pregnant, then became pregnant, had an amazing pregnancy, loved every second of being pregnant, and now have a beautiful son.

But I miss being pregnant every single day. It's to the point where I struggle even looking at pregnant women. I don't know if it brings up memories of my own pregnancy that I loved (although I worried every day that I would miscarry again) or if it's because I so badly pray that getting pregnant again will not be such a challenge. But I find myself having a hard time looking at and thinking of pregnant women.

Not over-analyzing here, but I think my so-called jealousy stems from years of IF. We all want to be pregnant so badly. But what I am surprised about is, after I went through a successful pregnancy that produced a live baby, that yearning to be pregnant is still there.

Damn you, IF. You just never go away.