The balancing act is a lot tougher than I imagined.
I'm a working, stiletto-wearing, professional, kick-ass-during-the-day-and-take-no-prisoners kind of woman,
I'm a mama to a sweet little boy whom I've wanted and loved for longer than he'll ever know.
Two completely separate, yet intertwined worlds that I am blessed to call my own.
It's hard to be fully present in either world, and I've found myself struggling... at work, I think about my little man constantly, and when I get home, I am holding my kid on my hip as I log in to find 50 e-mails since I left work two hours ago.
But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love, love, love working. Maybe it's because I view myself as successful (and everyone's definition of that is different) in the workplace, and I know that the work I do drives results. I live for it. The competition. The recognition. The work I do is exactly what I should be doing, and I love it.
But I also love my little boy. I love snuggling, playing, and taking walks. I love reading him books even though he has no idea what I am reading.
It makes it hard to make the decision to lead two full time jobs: my career and being a mom.
Even though I love my career, I find myself daily having to justify two things: One, I love my career and crave everything that comes along with my role: leading people, the politics, the pressure, the visibility, the money... everything. Two, my little man NEEDS interaction with others... especially other kids. Daycare is an environment that he needs for his own development, and he is so loved and well-taken-care-of.
But it's still hard. Would I be a good stay-at-home-mama? Hell, no. I wouldn't ever want to do it, either (although I give so much credit to the women who want and can stay at home with their little ones... it's not an easy job!). But going to work isn't always easy, either.
I wouldn't give it up for the world... I love my little man to pieces and being a mom is more rewarding than I could have imagined. I've also found - for me - that being career-focused is incredibly rewarding, too.
And, so, my two full time jobs continue... and I wouldn't want it any other way.