The Lists

So many things going on right now... a lot of good, a lot of bad.

There's so much going on in my life right now, and so many things swirling around in my head. I feel like I need to get it out somehow. Here is just a partial list of things I am thinking about today (I'll limit it to the top 10 in each category):

The GOOD:
1. I love Mr. D more than anything.
2. My dog is hilarious, sweet, soft, and my little, cuddly buddy.
3. My family... some are crazier than others, but overall, they love me and I love them.
4. My friends. Praise the Lord that I have such great friends. Amazing. They've been here for me through the thick of my infertility issues... and, amazingly, they're still here.
5. Our jobs. Work is BUSY, but we love what we do, and we are fortunate.
6. God. Seriously, I was never one to be super-religious, but Mr. D and I have made a concerted effort in the past year or so to become closer to God. We go to church, pray more frequently, talk about the Lord's plans in our lives, and for once in my life (I feel terrible actually admitting this)... I love going to church.
7. The fact that our house sold... quickly. Seriously, what a blessing in this horrible market.
8. My coffee mug in the morning. Man, does Folgers taste good on the way to work.
9. The fact that Mr. D drops me of right in front of my work in the morning... I refer to it as the Princess Dropoff.
10. SUNSHINE. Thank goodness for midwest summers. We get the most extreme of all 4 seasons.

The BAD:
1. Figuring out all of this house-related stuff. Closing paperwork, banking statements, Realtor fees... and oh, yeah, actually PACKING and PHYSICALLY MOVING. I've said it before and will say it again... our next house will be the one I live in forever... I never want to do all this again.
2. Not being able to conceive. Seriously, how the hell do women get pregnant on their first try, or when they are not even trying? I totally don't get it.
3. The fact that I haven't been the best friend to many people in my life. I know why I've been distant (aka: all this infertility shit), but I haven't been totally transparent with some friends who I think may have a "need to know" at this point. I need to think about this some more.
4. When I find out my dog had an accident on the floor after a mid-day thunderstorm when I arrive home in the evening from work. Sigh.
5. When I buy a cheap bottle of wine, thinking I got a great bargain, only to discover it tastes like crap (not many wines, in my opinion, taste horrible... so when I find one that does, I am totally bummed).
6. I haven't been on vacation since my miscarriage in Mexico. Needless to say, I have GREAT memories of that lovely trip.
7. I need to lose 10 pounds and it makes me crabby.
8. I get over 200 e-mails at work a day... how's a girl to keep up?
9. I have one great car, and one not-so-great car. Why did we buy the not-so-great car that keeps making strange noises? Not sure.
10. I am not a mother yet, and it is the worst feeling wanting something so badly, and feeling absolutely, completely helpless. To my knowledge, every other thing I've ever wanted in my life could be achieved... for a price (a house, a personal sacrifice, a career, an education, a decision, etc.). Although I would give anything to have a baby, I just can't obtain motherhood. Yet.

So, there are my random thoughts for the day. Hope every one's having a great week :)