The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Amongst all of the craziness with packing up our house and getting ready to move (one month from now, we will be in the new place!), our first RE appointment was on Friday. Mr. D and I both took a 1/2 day from work, and arrived for our 9:45 a.m. appointment right on time.

We had to fill out and send in paperwork prior to our appointment (probably around 20 pages of information... no joke), so I thought we would check in and be good to go. Wrong. About 10 more pages of information needed to be filled out, so after we gathered the paperwork, a glass of tea, and a couple pens, we walked into the waiting room.

HOLY CRAP... there must have been at least 15 people in this small waiting room. Most women were with men, but some were alone. When we walked in, everyone looked up. All I could think was, "these people know exactly why we are here... damn you, infertility." I quickly reminded myself that there are a LOT of reasons people see REs, so there was no way these people could pin-point why we were there... and they could probably care less.

On top of there being a ton of people and little room for Mr. D and I to sit together (which, we needed to, in order to fill out this paperwork and exchange information), the most awkward thing happened. I made eye contact with a guy from my work who used to be my client. OH MY GOODNESS was that weird. He was sitting with a woman (I am sure it was his wife), and it was a super-quick reaction for both of us to look away from each other just as quickly as we made eye-contact. I made it my promise not to let myself catch another glance to ensure it was him. I know it was him. He was equally as caught-off-guard as I was. I kept whispering to Mr. D to look over there, and he said that the guy kept trying to catch a glimpse. He's a super nice guy, and already has a little girl. I started wondering why he would be in a RE office, and then remembered about 6 months ago when he shared with me that his wife was pregnant. I saw him about a month later, and asked if he was getting ready to be a father to Baby #2, and he looked super sad and told me that they lost the baby at about 8 weeks. They were probably asking a lot of the same questions we have been asking, and I felt sad that he was in that waiting room.

I guess everyone needs some kind of help once in awhile.

So, 9:45 approaches, and our names are called. We were greeted by the nicest, sweetest woman who I was sure was a nurse. Nope - it was our RE, Dr. E. She brought us back to her comfy office so that she could get to know us. We talked, shared our story, and looked at diagrams of the woman's body. I shared my HSG story with her, and she said that in the 23 years she had been practicing, she has performed about 5 HSGs a week. She said she could count on one hand the number of people who had passed out during the procedure, and one person who had a seizure. Her eyes were very big when I was sharing the story, and she was so apologetic that it was such a horrible experience.

She pulled up the pictures of my HSG on her computer, and we all talked about next steps. Basically, she thought that the results from my HSG were inconclusive. Because I started the seizure during the procedure, the decision was made not to push any more dye through my tubes. Dr. E thought that, because another attempt wasn't made, it made the HSG inconclusive. Maybe my left tube is blocked, maybe not. She thought that because my right tube is totally fine, the dye "took the path of least resistance" and just went through the right side because it was easier.

She said that sometimes another shot of the dye pushes through the other side, but if blocked, maybe not. So - I have two options: repeat the HSG or have the laproscopy surgery. I told her that I would be fine with either option, but she said that given how my first HSG went, she wouldn't even go that route, because I may end up needing surgery anyway. If my left tube is indeed blocked, she said that she wants my regular Dr. to remove it, which totally freaked me out. She calmed me down by explaining that if my left tube is indeed blocked, it is probably the main culprit in why I am not pregnant yet. When we talked about my miscarriage, she said for all she knew, it could have been an ectopic pregnancy, which wouldn't happen if I have a healthy tube. She also said that, if I had stones in my gull bladder, we wouldn't even consider NOT removing it. Dr. E said that one healthy tube is better when TTC than one healthy and one unhealthy tube. I understood where she was coming from, so if it is indeed blocked, it will be taken out.

She said to schedule the surgery. I am supposed to go back to my OB to have the procedure done... preferably not this week, but the next. We might wait until next month, though. I am in California all this week for work, and Mr. D will be out of town for the next two weekends. Plus... we need to move out of our house by the end of the month, and I will need all the strength I have to help move things. Dr. E said that the surgery will require a couple days off work and that I will be pretty sore (she said it will feel like I did 2000 sit-ups the day before), and that I will need Mr. D around to help me out. I hear back from my regular Dr. tomorrow regarding her scheduling availability, but I think I am going to wait until September.

After our meeting, I went to get blood drawn so that they can analyze how healthy my eggs are. Crazy that they can determine the healthiness of my eggies through a blood test, but hopefully we hear back that my eggs are still good.

Then, I got to experience my first ever internal ultrasound. Dr. E wanted to check out my follicles, given I was on CD 2 (yes, I had an internal ultrasound while on the rag... it absolutely grossed me out, but the technician assured me over and over that she sees women who are on their periods all the time).

Mr. D and I stared at the goofy machine that looked like a bunch of moving globs as the tech and Dr. E exchanged medical speak ("4 milligrams to the right, 8W with a LP 49." What? Seriously??). After they were done talking mumbo-jumbo for about a minute, Dr. E looked at me and said, "You are completely healthy. You have 10-12 follies on each ovary that look beautiful, and I can't see a blockage on your left tube. That doesn't mean it isn't blocked, and you still need to get the surgery done, but from what I can see, you have a very healthy body." What she said next stunned the hell out of me:

"Through our treatment plan, it will be more likely that you'll conceive twins than none at all. Don't worry... we'll get you pregnant. Your body is perfect to carry."

That made me feel really good. Through all of this infertility hell, I've been holding my breath, just waiting for some medical professional to tell me that my chances are slim to none. But Dr. E is confident, and that makes me confident.

So, my next appointment with Dr. E is after the surgery.

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and warm wishes. I feel like we're getting one step closer every time one more appointment goes by, or one more procedure takes place. In the meantime, we'll just keep tryin'... :)

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