The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Another One Joins the Club

I helped my sister-in-law host a baby shower today for her best friend. I knew it would be hard for me personally to so badly want to be in her place, but I needed to put all of that aside and be completely focused on the mom-to-be. She is going to be such a great mom and I am so excited for her. I was happy to be helping and excited to support the momma-to-be.

So, I arrive an hour early, per the request of my sister-in-law, to help her and the other two co-hosts to set up. One of these two is pregnant - expecting her second. As I am asking her, "So, how are you feeling? Getting excited? Is your daughter excited to have a sibling?", the other co-host - an acquaintence/friend - whom I've known for years tells me, "Today is Katie's day [Katie is the person who the shower was honoring], and I don't want to steal the excitement away from Katie, but I wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant, too!"

So many mixed emotions. Of course, outwardly, I was thrilled for her. I asked a lot of questions, smiled, and told her "congrats" so many times I knew she knew that I was truly happy for her. And I am. But deep down, that horrible twinge of jealousy that I've felt for the past 2 years when I find out someone I know is expecting, crept up worse than ever.

I need to stop wearing the "poor me/why can't it be me" hat, and I know that. I never show that emotion outwardly, except to Mr. D. And he's so comforting.

I just keep praying that we will be blessed. We are ready. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially... you name it. I know it will happen in time. Let's just hope this month is our time :)

And so, as another one of my girl friends joins the mommy-to-be club, I am still hopeful that I will ovulate this cycle, we will conceive, and I will carry a baby that will stick.

Day 14... high ovulation days (5 in a row), and just waiting for that peak to show up on my CBFM. BD'ing a lot :)

Don't worry, friends, I just know I will get to join the club soon.

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