Baby Shower Blues

I am officially going to personally refrain from attending another baby shower until I have a child of my own. I can't think of a way to become more depressed than to completely submerse myself in a situation with a bunch of women talking about how fantastic it is to be a mother. And that's exactly what I experienced today.

I think it's more about the company of the guests than the actual act of showering the new mother with gifts. That part is actually okay... it's fun to see the momma-to-be, buy them a gift, etc. What I personally think is horrible is the conversations that happen at the shower by women who have been invited to celebrate.

The baby shower I attended today brought together about 15 women - 12 of which have children or are pregnant. There were 5 babies in attendance. ALL I LISTENED TO for about 2 hours was recommendations for baby lotions, what type of bibs work better than others, pacifiers, socks, breast pumps, and-on-and-on-and-on-and-on. I was ready to rip my hair out. I had to excuse myself to the restroom or kitchen a few times just to get away from the conversations. I was asked if I ever plan to have children, and when I said, "Yes, someday," I was greeted by awkward stares, sad smirks, and assuring looks. Another mother (who is younger than me) said, "Children are such a wonderful gift, and if you're not ready, it's okay, because they really do change your life. make sure you're ready before you have them!" The other women quickly nodded their heads in agreement as they kissed their kids' foreheads or rubbed their pregnant bellies. No shit, sherlock - I am well aware of how children change your life, and I never said I wasn't ready, damn it.

The woman who asked me if we were going to have kids later apologized to me in private and basically said that it's none of her business and she shouldn't have asked. She said that if I am one of those women who never have children, then, that's okay, too.

Thanks for the reassurance. "Screw you," is what I wanted to tell her.

So, I think I am done with baby showers. I actually am invited to one next month that I already RSVPed to, and I am going to send my regrets tomorrow.

At this point, I need to focus on self-preservation.