The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own: I Broke Down...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I Broke Down...

... and took a HPT.

Negative.

--Sigh--

I'm 9 DPO, and although I am keeping my hopes up (and prayers, and faith, and knowledge that miracles really do happen)...

I can't help but know that this is not a good sign.

Sure, it's still possible, but the reality?

Probably not.

--Tears......--

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Our Timeline...

January 30, 2013: Mason William is born!
September 24, 2012: Level 2 Ultrasound to check out cyst on baby's skull... completely normal. Chances back to 1 in 10,000 of chromosomal abnormalities. Baby weighs 15 ounces.
September 14, 2012: It's a BOY! Max will have a little brother... :) Baby weighs 11 ounces
July 31, 2012: OB Appointment: Everything is looking good! Heartbeat was 153bpm.
July 23, 2012: NT Ultrasound: Baby looks healthy! Measuring 12w4d, heartbeat is 161bpm.
July 9, 2012: First OB Appointment; heartbeat is 173bpm! EDD changed to February 1, 2013
June 15, 2012: First Ultrasound... there is a heartbeat! Our little bean is measuring 6w3d, heartbeat is 116 bpm. EDD is February 5, 2013
May 31, 2012: Beta #2 = 803
May 29, 2012: Beta #1 = 369
May 26, 2012: BFP!! Please stick, little bean....
May 17, 2012: Confirmed ovulation through blood test
April 30-May 4, 2012: TTC #2 - Clomid 50 mgs
February 24, 2012: Max is 6 months, 1 week old, and we are officially on the journey to TTC #2...
August 17, 2011: Maxwell Brian is born!
August 13, 2011: Due Date!
May 25, 2011: Started Baby Classes
March 18, 2011: It's a BOY! We are thrilled. Heartbeat = 139 bpm, he weighs 9 ounces.
March 9, 2011: OB Appointment went great! Heard the little bean's heartbeat... in the 140s again!
February 7, 2011: OB Appointment went great! Heartbeat in the 140s :)
January 31, 2011: NT Ultrasound... Baby D has certainly grown! Measuring 12w4d... 2 days ahead. Heartbeat = 162 bpm :)
January 11, 2011: First Official OB Appointment (no more RE!), heard heartbeat, EDD: August 13
December 23, 2010: Measuring 6w4d, saw and heard heartbeat! 135 bpm :)
December 15, 2010: U/S showed gestational sac and yolk sac measuring 5w1d. Another u/s next week, hoping we can see/hear the heartbeat...
December 9, 2010: Beta = 3,328! U/S next week...
December 2, 2010: BFP! Blood work for HCG and progesterone levels completed... Beta = 55
October - November 2010: Back to Tracking... IUI next month if needed
October 13, 2010: RE Appointment with Dr. E
October 11, 2010: Follow-up appointment from Laparoscopy
September 23, 2010: Laparoscopy - both tubes clear!
September 21, 2010: Pre-op physical
September 16, 2010: Laparoscopy scheduled -- CANCELLED (AF arrived 14 days early)
September 13, 2010: Check-in appointment prior to surgery
August 16, 2010: Pre-op appointment for Laparoscopy
July 30, 2010: 1st RE Appointment with Dr. E
July 8, 2010: HSG; left tube is blocked
June 30, 2010: SA comes back great; HSG scheduled for 7/8
June 29, 2010: Mr. D FINALLY goes in for the SA after months of pleading from Mrs. D
June 28, 2010: AF showed up
May 30-June 3, 2010: Clomid Round 3, 100 mg, Mr. & Mrs. D decide that this will likely be our last round of Clomid. Doctor agrees; if pregnancy not acheived this month, additional tests will occur.
May 26, 2010: AF showed up
April 29-May 3, 2010: Clomid Round 2, 50mg, ovulation confirmed this cycle
April 25, 2010: AF showed up; Mrs. D decides to start blogging about this rollercoaster ride of an experience
March 28-31, 2010: Clomid Round 1, 50mg, ovulation confirmed this cycle
March 9, 2010: Started Prometrium to start cycle (7 weeks since M/C and no AF)
February 2010: no cycle
January 19, 2010: miscarriage
January 11, 2010: BFN prior to going on vacation to Mexico; unviable pregnancy verified by blood test (HCG = 22).
January 3, 2010: At 28dpo, got BFP!! Actually, we got about 10 BFPs... took several HPTs to prove it to myself and Mr. D. We are absolutely thrilled!
December 2009: OPK showed ovulation.
November 2009: OPK showed ovulation; BFN. Stopped charting temps - was getting frustrated and not seeing patterns of temp changes.
October 2009: OPK showed ovulation; BFN.
September 2009: OPK showed ovulation; BFN.
August 2009: OPK showed ovulation; BFN.
July 2009: Doctor appointment. Everything looks great; it will just take time. Filled prescription of Prometrium to jump start cycle. Started temp charting and OPKs.
January - June 2009: TTC, no luck
December 2008: Last round of BCPs
2006, 2007, 2008: Traveled a ton domestically and internationally for work and pleasure, became fans of great wine, enjoyed marriage, decided to think about trying to start a family
July 2006: Married Mr. D in a huge ceremony. Complete happiness.
July 2005: Mr. D proposes by saying, "I want you to be my one and only forever. Will you marry me?"
July 2004: Met Mr. D. It was love at first sight. I actually was thinking, "I really don't want to be in a relationship right now, but it looks like he'll be in my life for awhile" prior to ever exchanging a word.