The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own

One gal's experiences dealing with IF, pregnancy, the birth of our first son, parenthood, and doing it all over again with our second son... here is our journey.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Uneventful... sort of

Today was the big appointment with my Doctor. Not as exciting as I had hoped. Maybe I was expecting her to reveal the magical answer as to why I can't get and stay pregnant, which we all know is totally not possible. Overall, it was an informational appointment, but no big surprises or revelations.

First, Mr. D's analysis from his test yesterday came back "normal." Mr. D did a little fist pump in the air when he heard that news. My Doctor used the word "normal" (and actually wrote that on the test results and handed to me for my files), but when I look at his results vs. the minimum of where a guy should be (they test volume, mobility, quality, you name it), his results were actually REALLY good. So, that's a relief. Kind of feels like checking that item off the list.

So, for me. Since AF showed up and I still have my period, no tests for me today (which I didn't know until I got there, and was totally fine with). However, we have a plan of what is next. Here it is:

- Take Clomid 100 mgs again this month. I know, I know, I said that I wouldn't take anymore of that stuff, but the Doctor helped me understand why it is important and that with my upcoming tests, it would be important to ensure ovulation this month. Fair enough. I think I am just nervous because of all the things I read online about women developing ovarian cysts, thinning of their uterus' wall, etc. When I asked her about this and her opinions, she said it's totally up to me, but that I shouldn't worry, as most of those things happen to a small percentage of women. The risk, I think, is worth the reward. So, Clomid Round #4, here I come.

- Go in for an HSG test. She was pretty adamant that this happen right away, given where I am in my cycle right now, so she scheduled me on the spot for next week. I need to read up on this procedure a bit more, but she was pretty up front with me that it will be painful. Basically, they shove a catheter up my you-know-what past my cervix (which is painful part #1), wait a few moments until you are not in shocking pain, and then release a dye up through my fallopian tubes (painful part #2). She said she likes to get the dye inside as fast as possible, because women are in a lot of pain during that process. Then, they look on a sonogram to see if the dye comes out of my tubes, or hits a roadblock. Dye coming out of my tubes = good. Basically, that means that my tubes are clear, and that is one more check off the list of things that shouldn't be prohibiting us from conceiving. Dye stopping because my tube is blocked = bad... for a couple reasons. First, I guess it is terribly painful for the dye to be blocked. Basically, the tube swells/enlarges to fit all of the dye, and that results in painful part #3. Second, if my tube is blocked, we have a whole other problem on our hands that will result in another Doctor visit to talk about options (surgery, etc.) She said that sometimes, even if the tube doesn't appear to be blocked, the dye naturally washes out any mucus in the tube that may have stopped the egg and sperm to meet (I know, nasty, right?) and a lot of people have success in TTC that month because their tubes are clean. This is also why she wants me to take Clomid this month... better chances of ovulating + cleaned tubes = better chance of conception.

- Start checking out REs. Like I mentioned in my last post, I knew this would be offered as a recommendation, but for some reason, hearing from my Doctor, "I am not a specialist in fertility, there are Doctors way better than me with matters of fertility, and you should consider establishing a plan with an Infertility Clinic" broke my heart. It's like it's real now. I am officially suffering from infertility. No longer just trying to get pregnant and facing challenges, but I am now a real-life patient of infertility. It kind of stung to hear that, but it's what we needed to hear. Otherwise, we will keep chasing this dream of starting a family with no real direction.

So, Mr. D and I packed up his test results (he joked that he is going to hang them on our fridge as a job well done... who knows, maybe he wasn't kidding), referrals for an RE, several prescriptions (Clomid, pain medication for the HSG, antibiotics to take prior to the HSG), and left. I feel so weird... happy, sad, confused, and just not sure where this journey is taking us. I just can not plan this one, and it is killing me.

So, the timeline. Clomid starts next week, as well as the antibiotics. HSG is scheduled for next Thursday. My Doctor had her Nurse call her partner clinics to get me in ASAP, as she felt strongly that this test needs to happen now. Thursday, July 8 at 1:30 was the only time available all next week, so my Doctor booked it and pretty much was like, "You need to get this done... hope this date and time works for you". So, instead of a romantic dinner out on our 4-year anniversary next Thursday, Mr. D will be driving me to the clinic for the HSG, and we will probably be hanging low on Thursday night. My Doctor said I should be fine afterwards, with just a little cramping. Somehow I feel like I might be in quite a bit of pain.

That's all for now. Thanks to my couple of friends who know about this blog and journey and continue to keep updated on this blog. It is such a mental and emotional release for me to write it, and I am so happy that my couple peeps who know about this keep supporting me.

More to come as we get ready for next week. I'll write all about our HSG experience :)

Baby blessings to all....

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